Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
