After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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