There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want to make out with him forever
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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