after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
