I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Green mimosas i think yes
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize