I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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