So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
