I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
