considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
