dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
