she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
