worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize