Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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