Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
