just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize