it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
