My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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