is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
