i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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