I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Someone signed my nipple.
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