How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
