Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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