You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
