she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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