If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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