Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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