What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
