I don't think brook has ever known best
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
