your parents love me but you hate me
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
