Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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