to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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