I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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