Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize