so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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