Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
