i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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