ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think I have vodka in my lungs
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
