Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
