I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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