I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
