if i died would you start the facebook group?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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