It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
