they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
