Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
