we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize