where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
