So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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