i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So here I am, sexting at work.
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