why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
