you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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