The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
