She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Randomize