we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
