i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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