His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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