i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
