she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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