You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
