Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
