it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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