the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
