Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize