end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
me + whiskey = a bad person
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
