"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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