My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
