its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You're like the curious george of whores
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
