Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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