I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
