my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
