At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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